The first time I consciously served as a healer was in the summer of 1989. I was in Poland participating in an international street theatre festival. I was 25 and it was something over 3 years since the descent of ‘light’ experience that set me on my spiritual journey. In these 3 years I had doing meditation practices with the ‘light’ and slowly working to integrate and embody this new dimension of my being. At times I would get so full of energy that I had begun to think that it might be possible to share it in some way with another. Circumstances were about to unfold that would prove those quiet thoughts correct.
As you might imagine, dozens street performers congregating together in a country recently freed from the yolk of Soviet domination that had plentiful and cheap alcohol, led to many a night of parties. We would travel out to different towns each day to do performances and return to our hotel in the Polish countryside at night, when music, fire juggling and all kinds of merriment would ensue.
One night a young Polish guy came back on our coach with us and befriended a couple R & H, who were in a small contingent of British performers of which I was part. Not being a big drinker I went to bed fairly early at around 1am. Around 3.30 or so I was awoken by others in my room (we were 4 in a large room). The young Polish man had taken R up to his room in a decidedly drunken state and after dropping him into his bed then crossed the room and got into the bed of H and attempted to rape her. She awoke enough to realize what was happening, pushed him of and began yelling and he ran off.
Shortly after I was awoken in my room and spent the remainder of the night tracking a still very drunken R around the hotel. He was in a vengeful furry looking for the rapist and I with another was stopping him from hurting someone or himself. It was one of those crazy situations that seem to make total sense at the time and I found myself reflecting on the nature of rape, on my own sexuality as the night flowed into the next day and the arrival of dismissive police officers.
Around 9am or so I was finally returning to my room after breakfast. In there on one of the beds resting from her ordeal of the night and ambivalence of the police was H. I lay a moment on my bed and I felt the quiet voice within suggesting I go and sit next to H and channel the light to her. I had by now some trust in this quiet voice of inner guidance so without speaking to H, I crossed the room, sat by her bed and called forth the light consciously directing it towards her. I soon became aware of what felt like a large, dark and heavy ball of energy above H’s lower abdomen and pelvis. I had no idea what to do, but after my night of contemplation amidst the chaos, I decided that as a man I would take collective responsibility for mens violence to women and I drew this darkness off her and to myself.
Immediately I felt a coldness in my body and realized I needed to now get this dark energy out of myself. I left the room without speaking and went outside where I spent maybe twenty minutes sitting under a tree clearing and grounding the dark energy. When I felt this was complete I walked back to the room. Upon entering H said to me, “I don’t know what you did Ray but it was amazing, thank you”. I asked what she had experienced and she told me she felt as if a huge weight that was crushing her had been lifted off and she could finally breath again. I then shared with her what my experience had been.
And so it was that I began my path as a light worker and healer.